Pregnancy Nitty Gritty

You're preggo. 

First off, YAY! If this is your first time being pregnant, I'm sure you've been inundated with information from other women telling you either a) pregnancy is the best experience like, ever! or 2) you're going to hate pregnancy, it ruins you or c) You'll love pregnancy but it really is brutal on your body, so just start doing keagles like, yesterday. Pregnancy Pregnancy Pregnancy!

I'll be honest. It was a little bit of both a and c for me, but I'd like to think of myself as a glass half full kind o gal, so even though things didn't always go perfectly, I still loved being preggo. Here is my nitty gritty pregnancy experience, to help you through any ruffalumpagus times, or just to make you giggle. Fair warning, there's a lot of pee talk in this. And awkwardness, but that's to be expected.

The Wait

We decided we were going to start trying to have a wee one after being off of birth control for a month, once we were done with all of our 2017 adventuring. I'm pretty sure it happened during a game of Scrabble [sorry fam].

We'd been trying for two cycles, and it was brutal on my psyche, hindsight, ya girl needed to chill. I bought a bunch of $10.00 pee sticks at the grocery store the first month, tracked my cycle through at least 100 apps, and peed when they told me it was time. I felt all of the phantom symptoms... my mind hated me. Multiple big fat negs that first month. Bummer, wasted a bunch of essspaansive pee sticks for nahhhting.

Insert the second month

I told myself I wasn't going to get worked up. I prayed of God to give me the strength to just. skr8. CHILL. We just lived life, and when the time came to pee on a stick, I went to the DOLLAR STORE [highly recommended] and bought a few.

A reasonable amount. Only like 20 [I kid y'all]. I only spent $3. Use that deductive reasoning. I waited to pee on the stick until hubs was home, training my patience for mommyhood. Insert the pehpeh stream. 5 minutes later, the dollar store stick was positive. OH EM GEE IT WAS POSITIVE! Since they were from the dollar store, we tested one more juuuuust in case. POSITIVE AGAIN! Happiest moment of life [at the time]! We embraced and cried and all of the things.

[fun fact:I was kind of a vegan at the moment, but for the sake of the babe, I decided I'd just eat healthy so I didn't have to worry about my protein consumption- I know, say what you will about animals and the casein and all the bad, but being vegan meant that I had to actually think about my protein intake, and for the sake of the baby (as well as my own sanity, call me lazy Miss Daisy), I thought it best to just eat a healthy, balanced diet. HAAAAAA all the way to Dairy Queen.]

Almost immediately

I called the doctor to schedule an appointment to be seen. I can remember feeling overwhelmed with joy talking on the phone to the receptionist. I felt like a toddler on a sugar high.

That all lasted a total of two seconds, because the feeling wasn't reciprocated on the telly. She wasn't as excited as I was, and she spoke all casually like I wasn't the only one calling into the OBGYN office to tell them I'm preggo?! [my sarcasm skills are getting better, yah?] 'alright when was yer last missed period', I answered and she responded with... 'So we'll need to see you in two weeks'. UMMM did you not hear me? Have you NOT seen the movies where women go in right away after figuring out they are preggo!? Of course, I responded with a gracious, "So you don't have to see me before then?" Nope. nope nope. I wasn't seen until I was 8 weeks preggo, which I guess is normal, whatever.[Now that I think about it, maybe it is like the movies because in the movies the ladies don't find out until they have morning sickness or some kind of symptom, not while they are freakishly staring at their ovulating app until it says PEE NOW in big green letters [there are no apps that say that].]

Now that that’s done

At that appointment, we nervously and excitedly walked in, chatted a little with our doc [who is amazingly awesome] as she rubbed my tummy with the jelly, learned that our due date would be April Fools Day [boy did we get fooled alright] and heard our little bellybean's heartbeat.

I cannot even begin to explain to you what that moment feels like. Imagine the Santa Clause feeling you had every year as a kid [or still have, I'm right there with ya] bottled up into a jar of happiness and add in a little of the graduation feeling and a little of the I got a big kid job feeling and a little of the I got my first apartment without mommy and daddy feeling and the initial crush feeling and the walking down the aisle [or dock] feeling. Now shake that bottle, and that's the feeling of hearing your littles' heartbeat for the first time.Jeff and I went straight to our soon to be fave baby store, Crib and Kids, to gawk at all of the furniture and things. We did not, however, tell anyone. The news was kept a secret until first, our parents found out, and then once we hit the three month mark.

The Secret 

It never fails with my family. They always have a way of... ruining surprises [in the best, most heartfelt and hilarious ways- love y'all]. We had mailed out a onesie to Jeff's parents- best surprise and reaction ever, the response was exactly as we had hoped, confusion then tears♥, then a phonecall of pure joy- and since my parents were to be arriving in town that week, we were planning on surprising them with a onesie in the guest bedroom. The onesies said something along the lines of 'Plot Twist'.

We met my parentals [and sister] for dinner when they arrived in town before they went to the house, and of course, to help welcome them, we thought it a good idea to have drinks ready for them [terrible plan, jokes on me]. I ordered myself a 'margarita'[water, hold the tequila, heavy lemon squeezed in to give it that margarita-ey vibe, which is funny bc the restaurant didn’t serve margs… #fail] which looked nothing like a margarita. They get to da place [La Tuna- fave burger in the history of ever], we hug in excitement, we give them their drinks, and my mom looks at me with a side eye and asks what I'm drinking?

Umm, a margarita[all incriminatingly]

"That is NOT a margarita" 'Whatever, yes it is, it's a local San Antonio marg, they make them like this, taste it' 'Eww, Jess, why are you not drinking?!?'.... And then everyone starts crying, and everyone else at the restaurant is looking at us like we're looney tunes. Needless to say, they figured it out before the fact, but alas, that is my family for you.Okay, so family knows. Next up, three month appointment, or the end of the first trimester scares. AKA, we could share the news with everyone else, woo!!!! We went in, all was well, we said no to a few tests and left, again going to our favorite store- you could say that our appointment days were shopping days. Texts flew out, our friends are officially in the know. We/I [Jeff had no care in the world to share it on social] planned our dumb fb share post, which I always dreamed [yes, i have had this planned out for a very, very, embarrassingly long time] of climbing a tree with a caption that says "our family tree is growing" with an ultrasound attached to a branch below and Kuma jumping up at the base of the tree.Well, we didn't find a tree in our vicinity that was safe enough for me to climb with a branch below it, so this is what we got. Also, Kuma did not follow his explicit instructions to jump at the base of the tree. And I looked like an alien. #fail. Whatever. I'm not bitter.

The JobDuring the majority of my pregnancy, I was working as a PE Assistant for my fave Elementary School in Texas. It was lowkey [got to work with one of my besties], stress free, kept me on my feet and active, perfect for a momma to be. One of the only bad things about working at an elementary school is all of the goodies one gets when working at an elementary school. There are constantly days for deliciousness, and yer girl was not going to turn down a brownie, or three! I had to feed the baby!

Another of the rougher things is the germies. My immune system went to the pi$ser. I got colds left and right, and then, I caught the big bad strep bug. I hadn't had strep since I was like a baby myself [that might be a stretch]. I felt soreness coming on, looked deep into my throat in the dreaded mirror, and then scheduled a doc appointment after googling all of the bad things that can and WILL[probably not] happen from those white dots. Although I was against taking anything while baby was in my belly, I opted to follow the doctors orders, and took my meds since we were passed the first trimester blues. I got the okay from my OB first of course. My body, being it's sweet and lovely self, gave me a reaction to the meds... Soo I looked like a speckled hen for a few days.

The ScariesInsert the four month appointment, or the appointment of terror. I call it the appointment of terror because it is the appointment where the ultrasound lady looks to see that baby has all of their vital organs, and that they are in working order. It is also the appointment where you get to find out the gender if you hadn't already done so in the tests they offer before the 4 monther, which we opted out of.

The nine months leading up to BABy

We went home at the end of the day, and my coworker texted a dermatologist friend asking what my face deformity could be. I texted my doctor bestie and asked what they could be. Both doctors responded back with SHINGLES. Insert FREAK• OUT•MODE. Jeff drove me to an after hours emergency clinic, I basically did their job for them, and they gave me another rx to take. I called my OB the next morning to verify I could take them, stayed home from work, and SUFFERED.Aside from birth, I would say shingles was the second most ugly pain I have ever felt in my life. Also it looks terrifying. I'm sure I was unbearable to deal with, though I'm typically pretty good with pain... I remember moaning, getting me AND Jeff ready for the childbirth experience I suppose. Shingles is weird because it's just a rash but it messes with your nerves so I'd have these shooting pains all the time, but you wouldn't actually think that a rash would be painful so it's like this terrible joke that your body is playing on you. If this is what chicken pox was like, I feel bad for all of us chitlins who had chicken pox as babies. Nonetheless, Jeff took care of me that week, as the postules did their thing. Here are some beautiful pictures of me, things really took a turn for the worse there at the end... Gosh, look how purrrrty I was.

.Oh, and p.s:: to be continued. Here's the rest of our baby journey!